What you see is not always what you get.
I got tagged by
Mauwy so I have to list seven things about me. Yehey! More opportunities for vanity! haha! Kidding.
Okay, so the rules and mechanics of this chain:
Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog! Let’s begin…
~7 Random facts about Monai~
7. At first, I didn't like my nickname Monai, even MonMon and Niknok. (grr) I took them as insults. But now, I think of them as endearments. So call me whatever you choose! As long as they're from the bottom of that part of the brain responsible for emotions wrongly associated with the heart.^_^
6. I am superficial. I don't know if superficial people are aware that they are. But I am. However, I know that there are deeper things we need in order to be truly living. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am superficial but I could also be deep. Is that weird?
5. In less than a year, I have almost shifted/transferred to 4 other courses. That's how undecided I am. There was my first course, Nursing, then I transferred to Dental Medicine (which is what I am currently taking). I wanted to get in Industrial Pharmacy, then Speech Pathology, and finally, Public Health. All in UP, of course. Hopefully, I'd find peace in Public Health. Then become a doctor.
4. I have numerous facades. I could be shy and timid and soft-voiced. I could be loud and boisterous! I could be angelic and sweet. I could be nasty and bad. I could be rakista/pankista-ish. I could be all scholarly and geeky. I could be corny and shallow. I could be serious and emotional. I could be clever. I could be stupid. I could be impulsive. I could be lazy or not. I could be flirty or boyish. I could be sexy or awkward. All these are ME. So when I say, I want to be me, I could be referring to any of these things. It is not role-playing. It is just who I am. I learned that this is normal. So commenting that I am not in my character is irrelevant. You may not just know me well enough.0_0
3. I always wanted to have a good singing voice. Unfortunately, I inherited the wrong genes. So I'm only stuck with a tuneless voice and a persevering attitude. I sing my lungs out even though everyone around me tells me to stop. I love music and no one can discourage me. Not even my own voice. Haha!
2. A friend called me a baby genius. Haha! This one's funny. He said I am childish yet wise when I talk. Five close friends and family members have said so, too. They say I think too old for my age. I take this as a compliment. At least I know what I am talking about. I also give good advice. (Although I can't say I myself follow them.) It makes me feel good about myself knowing that I have helped other people cope with their issues. It brings me closer to them, too.
1. I am not yet ready to be in a relationship. I may know a few deep things. But I am still immature and may be that is why it didn't work out. I may talk about the do's and don't's but I really don't have any clue. My mind can not control my feelings just yet. So, I'm sorry if I made it hard for you. *drama*
Ipagpatuloy ang chain..0_0
Labels: random
Not tonight.
What you see is not always what you get.
Tomorrow is our fourth and, hopefully (if we get exempted from the finals), last exam for the laboratory part of our summer course Zoology. I should be studying. I should be cramming my butt off trying to answer all questions in the manual. I should be finishing everything laboratory-ish - not sitting here in front of the computer making an unproductive entry about not studying for tomorrow.
I should be studying but I am not. Maybe it's because there are only tomorrow and friday before I go back to Pangasinan and finish some personal agenda. Maybe it's because there are only 4 school days left before summer classes are over. The things that keep me from studying are far from what I thought I prioritized - then.
Family is important. I should know that family should be up on my list. I am going to the premier state University not only because it offers quality education (and for personal development) but also because it is practically more affordable than others. Knowing this, I strive to graduate and get a high earning job to support my family. All these I do for them; but what would one do with all the education he/she has acquired if he/she has neglected or worse, forgotten, the reasons he has pushed so hard for it. Since my visit to Pangasinan is a family affair, it is only right for me to request for a few adjustments in school.
Psych10 in school taught us that life can be grouped into boxes where the different dimensions of your being lie. Their is family, love life, friends, school, work, and any other things you consider part of who you are. The course taught us that when in stress, you have to know that it is only one box in your polydimensional life that is 'temporarily' crumbling. If your love life sucks right now, that does not mean your whole life is ruined. You have other boxes to open and be grateful for. So when you get tired of School, why not try delving into, let's say, Internet?^_^
I love the saying 'Never let education interfere with your learning.' It holds so much ground that I could barely stop myself from laughing at my old self who thought that life is all about studying. I thought life revolved on constant studying for a far-off test. Now I realize that education is just a part of learning. There are many things we should be experiencing now. Life is too short to wait for graduation. It is even shorter to wait for retirement!
All things being said, I resolve not to study tonight. I will concentrate on my philosophies and hope that,once again, cramming will work it's magic tomorrow.
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Labels: life, mottos, plan, wisdom
Lipsticks for shallow people?
What you see is not always what you get.
An extract from the diary of Lieutenant Colonel Mervin Willett Gonin DSO who wasamong the first British soldiers to liberate Bergen-Belsen in 1945.
I can give no adequate description of the Horror Camp in which my men and myself were to spend the next month of our lives. It was just a barren wilderness, as bare as a chicken run. Corpses lay everywhere, some in huge piles, sometimes they lay singly or in pairs where they had fallen. It took a little time to get used to seeing men women and children collapse as you walked by them and to restrain oneself from going to their assistance. One had to get used early to the idea that the individual just did not count. One knew that five hundred a day were dying and that five hundred a day were going on dying for weeks before anything we could do would have the slightest effect. It was, however, not easy to watch a child choking to death from diptheria when you knew a tracheotomy and nursing would save it, one saw women drowning in their own vomit because they were too weak to turn over, and men eating worms as they clutched a half loaf of bread purely because they had to eat worms to live and now could scarcely tell the difference. Piles of corpses, naked and obscene, with a woman too weak to stand proping herself against them as she cooked the food we had given her over an open fire; men and women crouching down just anywhere in the open relieving themselves of the dysentary which was scouring their bowels, a woman standing stark naked washing herself with some issue soap in water from a tank in which the remains of a child floated. It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted, we were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don't know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tatooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.
Source:
http://Banksy.co.uk
>
Imperial War museum
Labels: irony, truth
Misery and Company
What you see is not always what you get.
Misery loves company. I have been using this line for quite a while now and I realize that the meaning I used to associate with it is not what it really means.
I always thought that misery loves company in a sense that it wants others to feel miserable, too. They want someone to feel bad about something to make them feel normal and eventually accept that life really is like that.
That could be the meaning but I noticed that misery loves company still has a different meaning. Misery loves company does not necessarily mean that sorrow seeks for sorrow. It could mean the one gloomy person needs the company of others to heal the wounds. Letting the feelings run amok inside without the ability to speak out and show your real emotions is very stressful and could be fatal. That is why misery needs the company who can be all ears and sincerely, if not completely, understanding.
I guess both meanings can hold their ground. Misery loves company. But hey, so does everything else!^_^ Would you want to be happy alone?
Nah-uh. Not me.^_^
Labels: friends, happy, sad, truth
Medieval Woman
What you see is not always what you get.
I am slowly learning what and how to prioritize things.
I am becoming proud of my study habits (or are they habits?) Before, I would almost never stop reviewing for the exams even if I have already gone through it a couple of times. I did this because I always thought that being from the province, I had to exert twice the effort city students did. I also thought that I would fail if I didn't. So studying was the main priority in my life.
Now, I realized that it was abnormal to do this. Normal students would go do other stuff after studying. They'd go out and have fun.
Now, I can go out and have fun without worrying about my studies. I want to be the medieval person. I want to be good in everything. (Or at least know about them.)
I want to experience life to its fullest. That is why I resolve to set my priorities as straight as it could be.
Although I am not yet used to the new study 'habit', I will master this. Haha!
Life is too short to waste on studying. Life is not about growing up, it's about having the time of your life every minute. You should not waste any minute doing something you don't want to do. If you want to bum around, then bum as much as you can! But then again, you have to also realize that you are wasting precious moments you could have used for more fruitful and satisfying things.
I love living life.
That is what's important.^_^
Labels: fun, life, monica
Advice of a Fool
What you see is not always what you get.
There are just some people you would really lose in the road.
You have to accept that. It's okay to be sad but you must never forget that there will be new friends to meet. Like cells actively dividing, new cells replace the old AND DYING ones. Although our new friends would never be exactly the same as the old ones, they still do the things expected from a friend.
And to reduce the probability of losing new friends, take care of them. and DON'T get in a deeper relationship. That just ruins everything. If you do,
expect to exhaust yourself making new friends again.
My brothers never really cared about losing some. They just upped and left. That is what I want to do. I would just be kidding and killing myself holding on to people not willing to hold on back.
So today, I officially admit that I lost two of my supposedly good and old friends. I'm partly at fault but who isn't? I have to face this. I am facing it now. *_*
Sorrow is irrelevant. It won't do me any good. So why bother? I have been sad for quite some time now. It's getting boring.
So there. My cells are continuously dividing. I am constantly making new friends. That's all. ^_^
Labels: chapter, friends, old friends
Pathetic
What you see is not always what you get.
So what is new? Nothing ground shattering.
I learned so much from the past only because the past keeps playing over and over again in my overcomplicating itsie-bitsie brain. Before this happened, I live for the future. Now that my spirit is broken, I live in the past. This sucks, I tell you.
Being conscious of my pathetic life and the reasons why it's going nowhere, I realize that I have to start living now - in this present moment, in this present time. I have started to live my life as if it were the best, as if I were really there. I am not sure if you understand. Before, I always rush what I do thinking that I do all these for the future, for what will become of me. Now, what I do now, is just for this moment. This is living life. You give your best on what is presented to you and never think of tomorrow's consequences or effects of your actions. That is what I do now.
That was how I started after my realizations but there are times when I just revert to my old self - to the pathetic, needy Monica. It sucks. It sucks when I start thinking of what was lost. It sucks when I start wishing for everything to come back. It sucks because I know deep in my heart that it could never be.
When I want something, I never, almost unconsciously, give up. If there's nothing else I could do, I will create something up in my mind just to convince myself that I still could have it. I'd think there's still something out there to hope for even when the truth is right there in front of me waving crazily telling me to stop my wishful thinking. I told you, pathetic.
I am sure that if he is reading this, he'd think he made the right decision. He'd think I was hurt not because he is gone but because of something way more 'superficial' and that this is all about me. That's how insulting he is. And still, the pathetic little me would overlook all these and hope that he will realize that % #$#@ $%%. This is not about me. This is about us. How I miss the fun times we had. How I miss you. I miss you.
Yes, I am pathetic.
But I still want you back. I am still hoping you'd be back.
*pathetic*
Labels: caras, pathetic, sad
