It's scary.
I can not believe my life is frighteningly fine. My problem-free days have gone on and on and on that I can't even remember when it started.
Of course, I can still remember my last 'problem' and I do recall how hellish it was. In a way, I am proud of myself because I lived through it. (HAHA! Parang ang laki ng problema eh.)
Now that I think of it, I always had problems before because I relive and rethink all the mistakes I have done. It has been my habit to think about them before sleeping and before getting up. It is even what I daydream about. It was only then that I realize how trapped I was in the past. I was a sadist of sorts trying to put my life in order with painful memories as its foundation.
I have gained my life back and I realize, there's not much to it. Maybe that's the reason why I keep going back to my foolishness - because it breaks the monotony of my life. But that's just the old me speaking. My old and sadist me just can't accept the truth that I am happy.
I usually walk around the campus alone and sometimes, I feel this giddy urge to just run around like a child or to skip my way to my next class (yeah, I do these.). It leaves me so refreshed afterwards. It is as if I can be strong amidst all the strangers in the class. This state of non-problem has brought out the child in me.^_^
But I can't help being afraid. WHY ARE there no problems? I believe that life is a cycle. It is yin and yang in a localized way. If there is health, there is illness. When there is money, there is poverty. And when there is happiness, there surely is sorrow.
I'm afraid of the hurt and pain that will hit me come the next cycle. I hope it's not that bad. Magprepray na lang ako.^_^
I have nothing to say
I found a new hobby. I found the best view ever. I found the blankness so interesting.
It is one of God's masterpieces. An obra maestra of sorts. The perfection of every little thing. Even up to the silence.
It has got me hooked up. Winning me over and capturing my for-Sir-Li-smile.
I won't see it tomorrow. It is blocked from that day's angle. But on thursday, I will see it again. Someday, I'll get the courage to get closer and appreciate it even better.^_^
Philippines
I came across Carla's blog here on multiply and I have this sudden urge to unleash the 'iska' in me.
She says: "
on a deeper thought, have you ever thought this point in time that the end of the world is drawing near? i mean, it's just pretty darn obvious because of the fact that a lot of terrible things are happening especially to our country. if not "the end of the world" then, we might encounter an event that would break the country- total chaos, some kind of a "war". call me crazy, but i feel bad things are about to happen. the G2 explosion, Saguisag accident, the girl who killed herself because of poverty, the Congress Bombing-- these are just some examples of terrible things that just recently have occurred. and analysts are talking of a financial tsunami that would hit the country and leave a big damage. when you think about it, the country is somewhat in a state of "anarchy", full of mishmash and disarray. the day when we as a nation are able to survive from this, we can only wonder."
I agreed: "It's like the series of 'unfortunate' events are telling us something. We are in a state of anarchy because we no longer care. People are still caught up with their own little lives that they don't see the bigger picture. Their will be no 'little lives' if we continue living like this. Yes, we see the things going on around us but do we do anything about it? No. Not really. That is the sad part."
We are selfish people. (Yes, you can say 'speak for yourself' but just try to read and understand). When we wake up in the morning, what do we do? Do we pray? If we pray, do we pray for the people who are also waking up or do we only pray for another happy day ahead?
When we get stuck in traffic, do we curse each and every other people around who are causing your delay? Do we not realize that maybe there was an accident and that someone out there could already be dead? No, we don't think that.
This is because our lives and our thinking only goes as far as at most 4 feet radius. We no longer see other people's problems because we think we have too much on our plate already. We have too much issues going on in our lives that we forget what is truly important.
We do not cooperate with other people thinking that you only have yourself to depend on. There are no more neighbors, no more 'bayanihan'. I had the privilege, together with other isko's and iska's, to hear our very own historians say what they have in mind about our country. They say we are in the period of postmodernism when people no longer think as a citizen of the Philippines but as citizens of the world. Thus, they say. it does not matter if our nurses work for Americans or Japanese or their fellow Filipinos because they are working for the whole human race. This is soooo wrong. The Filipino First Mindset is what we should have and that is what I am sticking with. My devotion starts with reading Filipino works first before others.
This goes the same with the government. The politicians are too preoccupied with filling coffers before their term ends that they forget what their true duties are. Citizens are also to blame. They think that voting is too much of a hassle so they just avoid it. OR they think that the candidate who gives the most 'pakurong' (bribe) is the most deserving (because they benefited more).
I admit, I am ashamed of myself. Who am I to talk about these things when I myself have not yet registered to vote and I have done nothing but write and rant about these social and political ills.
Point is, you, who are not, should be aware of the problems. Maybe then we can move on to acting.
3 genders of human race?
I was listening to our lecture on Ecology and we touched the topic of genders of organisms. The professor began by saying that there are other organisms with 5 genders. He said (not verbatim), "So you think we are more advanced? No. We have three (3) genders but they have five."
Oh my! We have three genders?!
Now that I think about it, maybe it was just a slip of the tongue that he didn't realize.
If that were not the case, it would have been really groundbreaking to find out about having a third gender even if it came from a very credible source. What's more is that scholars themselves are recognizing these changes.
If it were not a slip of the tongue that went unnoticed, then shouldn't there be FOUR genders?
Maybe it really was just an absent-minded mistake. Hmm..
*Uhm, I meant no offense. It was just a little fast to register on my itsy bitsy brain. Gender is totally different from gender preference, that I'm sure of.^_^*
Kung ang buhay ko ay isang drama, ikaw ang atribida!
My sisters, being as they are, would usually butt in on my plans of, uh, practicing my social skills (which is really important if I want to be a doctor! I promise!), and retort something disapproving in front of our parents like, "Bakit ka pa lalabas? Labas ka na nang labas." or "Ayaw mo pa lang lumabas eh, eh 'di 'wag ka nang lumabas."
Whenever I get the feeling that I'm losing this battle of badgering, I always say,
"Kung ang buhay ko ay isang drama, ikaw ang atribida!" This actually works because the the first and only times I've used it, my sisters could not form witty comebacks. It was such a great feeling knowing that in their heads, they're still trying to come up with anything that will be as funny and as creative and as strong as my line! I even had Mama laughing which is very elating considering the fact that I truly have only one appreciative audience when it comes to being 'un'-funny -- myself.
I don't really know where I got that line. Maybe the teledramas Mama insisted on watching (even if we were the first one to use the TV) rubbed off on me. My mom is grown-up. She's 50+ years old and she already five kids. You would imagine her to be mature and all that a mom should be. They'd say moms would even sacrifice a little for the sake of their kids. Mama is all that, yes she is.
But when it comes to her Isay, that freakishly korekorekok Kokey and other drama series, she becomes someone younger than us! She becomes a whiny Maggie Simpson! (Imagine that!) "Isay na! Isay na! Ilipat niyo naaa!" When we don't change the channels, she'd manually change it as if we weren't there! So for us to watch what we want, we have to wait for her to fall asleep. The tricky part here is, you should be as quiet as a mouse. Else, she'll wake up and say "Nanonood pa akoooo..." in that tiny voice.
Sometimes it's cute. Sometimes, it's just not funny anymore. But a mom is a mom. My mom is My mom. I still love her for whatever.^_^
Reading Glasses
I went out today to get new glasses because Ikea, our big black labrador retriever (who chews on anything when she gets frantically bored), broke my old 'emo', as Allas commented, ones.
It sure is funny how optometrists make you read those letters from afar twice (you know, to gauge your eyes' condition) - once with the right eye and once with the left. (Wait, I'm getting to it!)
So let's say you've read the 2nd row of letters with the right eye. The optometrist closes off that one and moves to the left. He/She asks you again to read the 2nd row of letters. Even if I can't sctually read it, the familiarity of the letters will make it clearer than it really is! So what's the point of making me read it again? I can lie and recite those four letters without really seeing it or I can feel stupid and say I don't know the letters at all! I still don't know which is better and I have been visiting optometrists since I was 12!
Maybe I could explain to them the trouble they present to their patients when they let them do this. But then we'd be going on and on and on and it'd be too tiresome.
Anyway, this is my last non-class week. Sembreak will be over in only a couple of days. I need to get ready for my premonitioned most OC and GC semester ever. I can't wait for our recollection on Saturday. *Replenish, replenish*
