Sad Entry Again
What you see is not always what you get.Doing something out of the ordinary like, let's say, getting you head shaved has its consequences. Even if you have looked at it at every angle, even if you have asked for second opinions and even if you have asked for their approval, there will still be unexpected turn of events that would make you regret your decision.
I envy those who do not experience this.
Going against the norms is something I am not afraid to do. I had my head shaved. Need I say more? I don't care about the weird looks I get. I don't even give second thoughts to the smirks and stares I get. I find it even funny. It's as if they think I'm crazy.
That's just fine with me. I don't care. So what am I complaining about?
I just find it hard to reconcile with my actions when the closest of the closest to me can't accept the fact that I am who I am. I do crazy things that other people won't understand. That's Monica.
I treasure my friends so much that even if I knew they themselves don't get me, I would not let them go. Even if they trash me behind their so-called constructive criticisms, I would shrug it off and go on being friends.
But what if they go overboard? What if they hurt you so badly that they make you cry for two straight days? What if you can't concentrate on the things that need to be done because you keep on thinking about how to solve this problem? WHat if you keep on reaching out but there's no one on the other side?
What if you're just thinking life's too perfect to blow up on your face and never realize that you do have to let go and move on?
I don't want to let go. But are they telling me to do so? Do I have to burst my own bubble? I am bleeding and the only friend who can help me won't even give me first aid.
Once again, life sucks for me.
I've never had this feeling for a very long time.
Crappiness of life has outrun me.
Then again, it makes life full of hopes. and worries.
