my crazy thoughts. please be patient. bwahaha!
*sigh* i was born upside down like everyone else. thank God i wasnt born deaf or blind. but see, the thing is, i think too much. I know it's a good thing.. at least im keeping my mind working all the time. But that's just it. i let it work.. play its games inside. I never let it out. I never act on it. I just think. Like when i say i want the mundane. I want authenticity of my creativity. But i don't act on it. i just think. like when i say i want to do a book. yeah right. whatever. it's all in my head. i mean, where do i start? how do i start? argh! and if i write a book, what would it be all about? my ideas are cliches. i hate myself for that. sometimes i think, yes, i thought of this first.. then suddenly realize, that's just too obvious. i envy my brother who has so many original opinions and comments that i can;t help but laugh when said and understood. i don't know if tis because he's older. he's just so full of ideas. i want to be just like him.. but i do have my own ideas. im just afraid. i do not know of what. but somethings keeping me from doing things i really want to do........ just keep writing.. yes.. uhuh... see? do you understand what im doing? hahaha! im doing nothing.. this wont take me anywhere.. but still... i go on typing as if this is something important and substantial.. yes.. is it? what do you think? hmmm.....
